I moved to a new city so often, that I need to focus to count them right now. I didn’t know anyone there and every time had to start over and over. This experience taught me a lot. As a result, I realized that being alone is not the same as being lonely. On the contrary, such a time can be useful and productive. I believe that every person needs to take time for themself.
Basically, loneliness refers to the state – “I’m single”, and I thought so. But in fact, everything is much more complicated. Even in a relationship a person can be alone, yes or no?… Yes.
I was lonely, but not alone.
Now I am alone, but not lonely.
And this is the best practice in life.
Your entire life you have someone, and this someone is – yourself!
Find yourself and get to know you! And you will never be lonely again!
Honestly, I didn’t immediately choose to be single – at first I was just unlucky with partners. Everything is as usual: I fall in love with those who do not notice me, or I do not notice them. Plus a high bar and a rather long list of requirements for men… Over time, I realized that nothing was wrong with me – this patriarchal society was guilty of the fact that I could not find an equal, empathic and sensitive, respecting partner. And the chances of meeting him are not so great. And then I completely accepted my single lifestyle – as the best for me at the moment.
No no no, of course I still believe that someday I will meet a man who is suitable for me and try to build a relationship with him that is comfortable for both of us. But while I’m used to being alone – and, to be honest, I enjoy it so much that in order to appear in my life a partner I will need very, very weighty arguments.
In this paragraph, I’m going to tell you few things to do to enjoy the time on your own:
Firstly, time alone – is a chance to do self-development, health or appearance. Pamper yourself with a bubble bath or face mask. Do what you gathered for a long time, but put off till now. No matter what you do. The main thing is to become healthier, more beautiful and happier. Let time alone with you be associated not with longing and boredom, but with self-improvement and self-care.
Secondly, try to drop other people’s interests and think about yourself. What do you want to do today? No need to adjust and seek compromises, you decide which movie to watch and which restaurant to dine.
This may seem complicated at first. But over time, you will see: when you are not depending on others and rely on yourself, it is much easier to become happy. If you make plans, are afraid to let the situation go out of control and cannot relax, time alone with yourself will help to deal with these problems. Make a decision to do something and do not reach for the phone, it is better to leave it at home or hide it. It is necessary to disconnect the Network and put off the gadgets, as it becomes clear: with their help we hammer the smallest voids in life.
Learn to enjoy the present moment alone with yourself, and over time you will be able to do it in the company. Doing something for the first time is difficult, scary, and awkward. But in order to feel life and see the opportunities that it opens up, one has to overcome fears and complexes. Go have dinner alone, watch a movie at the cinema, or go for a walk/run. Do not worry about what others will think. You do not blame the people you see without company, right?!
Constantly doing something complicated and intimidating is not necessary. If you want to watch TV shows or read all day, do it. Enjoy every moment. Spending a lot of time alone is not mandatory. The same rules apply here as with sleep and good habits: the main thing is balance and moderation. If you feel lonely, call a friend and organize a meeting. But if you can’t remember the last time you were alone, it’s time to clear the schedule and reconnect with yourself.In my opinion, the ideal partner is the one with whom I will be as good as alone, only a little better. With whom I can be myself and not be shy about any of my manifestations. With whom I will have enough space to be myself.