Today has been especially difficult, it is day 7 since it happened. I find myself overwhelmed with emotions, unable to hold the tears that continuously stream down my face. It’s not that I’m angry at you for not wanting us, it’s the profound sadness that crushes me when I reflect on how you made me feel. There was a time when I believed I was everything you had ever wanted, a time when your love and affection made me feel like the most cherished person in the world. But then, everything changed. Suddenly, I became a past in your eyes, someone you no longer want to fight for. The pain I feel results from the effortlessness with which you moved on. It’s as if our time together meant nothing, as if the memories and future plans we shared were easily forgotten.
I find myself questioning the authenticity of our connection. Was it all just in my head? It’s hard to understand how someone who once claimed to love me so passionately could so easily, over the night, change his mind. These thoughts consume me, leaving me feeling down and empty. As I pour my heart out onto these pages, I hope that one day the tears will stop, and the pain will decrease. I long for the day when I can look back on this chapter of my life with a sense of acceptance and understanding. Until then, I will allow myself to grieve, to mourn the loss of a love that once burned so brightly.
So, dear journal, as I close these pages for today, I do it with a heavy heart. The tears may continue to flow, but I know that with each drop, I am one step closer to healing and letting it go. I will embrace this pain, and one day, when the tears have dried, I will be ready to embrace a love that is deserving of all that I have to offer.
With hope for a brighter tomorrow, Carolinajournalinglove