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Dear journal | Day 4

This is I guess the most vulnerable I have ever been online. I found myself in a devastating break up. My heart feels like it’s been shattered into a million pieces. My friends are trying to help, offering advice and words of encouragement. They suggest things like hitting the gym, dating other guys, or even trying to make him jealous. But they don’t seem to understand the depth of my brokenness. When you’re as heartbroken as I am, the world loses its color. Food loses its taste. Sleep becomes an unknowing thing. The future, once filled with promise, now seems like an endless emptiness.

The weight of my heartbreak is so heavy that even the simplest tasks feel like climbing mountains. I don’t care about getting fit, or dating, or making him jealous. All I can think about is the gaping hole in my life where he used to be. The world keeps spinning, but I feel stuck in place in my own desperation. Right now, I’m not looking for solutions or distractions. I’m simply trying to survive, to keep breathing, to make it through each day without falling apart, to hold myself together.

So, dear Journal, this is where I am. I’m not looking for answers or quick fixes. I’m not trying to rush through my grief. I’m just trying to find the strength to face each new day, to navigate through this despair. I’m just trying to keep going, one day at a time, one foot in front of the other. I’m just trying to survive. In this moment, I am a testament to the human spirit’s resilience. I am a testament to the power of survival. I am a testament to the strength that can be found in brokenness. And though I may not know how to move on, I know that I will. Because I am more than my heartbreak. I am more than my pain. I am surviving. And for now, that’s enough.

With love, Carolina

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Dear journal | Day 4