Well… so much to say, but to be honest, at this moment, I am sitting in front of my laptop for minutes and have no idea how to begin. What should I say? Where should I start? About what is happening today? A week ago? Maybe the story started in September 2019? 2018? Or it’s been a life since?
Well… looking back, was sicking for butterflies, but ended up with an entire zoo! You definitely know the feeling of getting crazy in love with someone and making stupid mistakes one by one unconsciously. Because sometimes the chemistry sucks! Did you notice, once a person is important for us, we act stupid? we tell wrong stories not in the right moment, we spend too much time on overthinking and expect more than the person is ready to offer.
Well… I am grown woman that know what is right and wrong, I am the person that friends come to me asking for advise, and trust me – I am much better than a phycologist 😀 But when it comes to my case, can never think clearly, emotions come into the game and I lose my mind. Unpredictable, naive, stupid behavior that I regret by the time when I get over the person! Mostly, this post is about someone, or at least because of someone… although I am gonna skip the ground why I am staying here, in front of these words… and better I keep my short brief.
Well… there is a moment in our life when we decide to cross the line or nah. Nowadays, most of the time people hesitate, we are scared of doing something like this, we fear to be hurt, we afraid to get attached, we await that every person that come into our private space is gonna break our heart. We are not able to let somebody cross the line, and that border where once we feel that we get attached – we distant ourself, we become colder and not interested, we answer shortly and always have excuses to not make time for them… even friends, even somebody more than that. Once in a while there is someone worth the try… and here we come – different expectations, bad timing, wrong conversations, tears, fights… what for?
Now… keeping thinking if I still want these butterflies and the chemistry I am looking for – I am consciously giving up…