It would seem that you are a reasonable adult. And listening to the story of a friend who is waiting for her prince from the army, you nod sympathetically and think: “Poor thing, life around is so stormy, and only 16, 18, 20 years old, and she just does what she is waiting for, skipping all the fun”. But I can tell, there is a good side of a long-distance. I’ve been through this few time, and I would definitely say this is my kind of relationship. You have the entire time for yourself, and meantime, there is someone loving you.
I am going to tell you more and more on how to keep a long-distance strong enough to have a common happy future.
- Common plans
Separation is temporary, so as not to forget about it, discuss a joint future, share your dreams about what it will be like. To make your dreams come true, turn them into clear plans.
Anything that seems important and interesting should be included in your notes: the countries you want to visit, furniture you need to buy, restaurants or events that you want to visit together.
- Honesty is key
Relationships won’t last long without honesty. Being apart is already hard, and unspoken grievances will only exacerbate the situation. To prevent this from happening, discuss your views, habits and grievances, tell how you feel about various controversial things.
Lying in a long-distance relationship is incredibly convenient because the partner will never know that he/she has been cheated. The problem is that you get used to lying. When you are around again, it will be difficult to wean yourself from the habit of lying and under-saying, hiding some uncomfortable moments. Of course, there is no way you can check if your sweetheart is lying to you. But at least don’t lie to yourself. This will greatly help your future relationship.
- Do not close yourself
Ignore is the most terrifying weapon of a distant relationship, and it is more difficult to survive than open rudeness. For this reason, fights at a distance are different than usual.
In real life, you can be silent for a while, but it’s better not to do this at a distance. When you ignore your partner, he/she does not see you and is left alone with the darkest thoughts. Therefore, you need to pull yourself together as soon as possible and start a conversation.
If emotions are overwhelmed and you want to be alone – warn about it. Do not disappear in silence. When there is a resentment, you need to get as much information as possible and understand what exactly went wrong. You may have to communicate for several hours. The main thing is to achieve results and get rid of negative sediment. I think it is very important not to go to bed thinking whether you are important!
The first time you speak honestly, it becomes a habit, and the next situation will be easier. Honesty will become a part of your life.
You know it’s true love when no matter how far the distance is – he can make you smile.
- Do something together
Fortunately, modern communications allow you to choose food together for dinner in real time: for example, turn on Skype and go to the store. This brings you together. Because, firstly, it creates the illusion of presence, and secondly, it removes the problem “we have nothing to talk about”.
At first, you may feel that you sacrificed yourself – to his/her studies or career. Or, on the contrary: that the victim is a beloved man/woman, if you had to leave. You feel like a martyr or, on the contrary, you struggle with guilt and, as a result, start talking exclusively about the sublime. Throw this pretentious case. You need to share feelings, cute little things, witty observations and sexy selfies. All this is the best possible way to support the fire of love and passion.
Sexual tension is undoubtedly one of the most important things between couples. Sexual desire is like a glue that keeps both parties from drifting apart. Not only sex is a biological need, it is an emotional one as well.
Keep the flames burning by sending each other teasing texts filled with sexual provocative descriptions. Sexy puns work pretty well too.
- Find a convenient time for regular communication
Even if you work 24/7, sometimes you just need to talk and get feedback. Depending on the distance, a certain period is required to form a suitable time schedule for conversations, but, as they say, he/she who seeks will always find. For example, you can send your loved one funny voice messages when there is no time to chat with him/her on the phone. And no, it doesn’t matter if you can only call on Sunday mornings. The main thing is to find time for each other.
It’s helpful to know when the other person is busy and when he/she is free, so that you can drop a text or make a call at the right time. You wouldn’t want to disturb your partner when he/she is in the middle of class or halfway through a business meeting. Know the small and big events that are taking place or will take place in each other’s life e.g. college mid-terms and exams, important business trips and meetings, job interviews and etc. This is especially essential when the both of you are living in different time zones.
- Find the best ways to stay connected
When you have found the time to communicate, it is also important to choose the right means. Fortunately, it has never been easier to stay connected with the world as it is today: Wi-Fi connection is all you need for conversation and correspondence. Make sure your preferred communication tool is readily available to the two of you, and don’t forget that using different media will brighten your communication.
Your task is to establish a strong connection, and any doubt creates micro-breaks. How to avoid this?
To be here and now, not in thoughts and dreams. Call each other, write to each other throughout the day (fortunately, Viber, WhatsApp and iMessage allow you to do this for free), share everything that happens to you – both the chronicle of events and feelings. Also gossip! Discussion of the third person, as unethical as it may sound, brings you very close. Calm your conscience: you are not hatching a malicious plan, but only sharpening tongues. Psychological Fact: Sharing the latest gossip makes relationships stronger. You seem to say to each other: “We are not like them” – and this acts as a sedative on souls wounded by separation.
