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What is it like “at a distance”? (PART IV)

Any coin has two sides. There are no universal recipes for happiness, suitable for all occasions. Therefore, there are reasons why long-distance relationships have a right to exist and a happy ending in the form of a wedding.

Nobody says it is going to be easy — the extra distance makes many things unachievable. Things could get complicated, and you could get sad and lonely at times. But as we talked already few times, there are ways to make it possible. 

For me personally, I would benefit from this. If he is a foreigner, I will learn his language. Nothing motivates you like love. And even if we part, the language will remain with me. Take advantage of the fact that so much time remains for yourself. After all, you still receive a charge from love, even at a distance, and this is the most powerful source of energy of all. Learn new things, sign up for yoga, start blogging – when you do not have this “feeling of weightlessness”, it is much more difficult to force yourself to do all this.

  1. Be resourceful

Record an unexpected audio message, send a letter, postcard or parcel. Connect your imagination and look for new amazing ways to give your partner attention.

  1. Don’t avoid arguments

If you see each other every couple of weeks or months and even speak different languages, then problems and worries fade into the background for you. No one wants to waste time arguing and conflict when you only have 48 hours to be together, but turning a blind eye to disagreements will harm the development of your relationship. The more you talk about topics that have not yet reached a compromise, before they become a serious obstacle in your love story, the better. Try to solve problems in a meeting or by phone as soon as they arise. 

  1. Speak up

Always try to be frank and honest when expressing your feelings. If you don’t know where your loved one is at the moment or with whom he/she spent Saturday night, you will start to worry and wind yourself up. And social networks that allow observing a person’s life will not solve the problem. It is important to trust each other, share thoughts and feelings, and together overcome jealousy, doubts and misunderstandings.

  1. Look at the world in a positive way!

Living with long distance relationships has its pros and cons. Sometimes you may feel like you are missing something, because you rarely meet with your loved other, rarely meet after work, or have lunch together. However, there is also a downside to the coin – you can go about your career. And if you have force majeure at work or at university, you don’t have to upset your loved one by canceling dinner or movie plans, for example.

  1. Do boring things together

When you see each other several times a year, each meeting feels like a real vacation. Well, maybe this is a real vacation, as you take a break from your everyday worries. There is nothing wrong with sleeping longer than usual, having breakfast late and going to see the sights of the city, but it is also important to deal with routine together – folding the clothes, mowing the lawn… The mutual desire to make everyday things fun and interesting is a test of relationships, isn’t it?

  1. Plan a new date

It takes time and money to see each other, so scheduling a date isn’t always easy. But your feelings will suffer and your life plans will be frustrated if you don’t know when you will meet again. Therefore, it is better to set a date for the next meeting as soon as you return home. This way, you can pre-book your tickets at great deals, not to mention the anticipation of the expected event! (Unexpected visits are also great, practice that too).

  1. Spend time together

Tough times require creative ways to spend time together: even if you are far apart, you can still do something together (thanks to the video call feature). It’s easy to find virtual entertainment for two these days: you can cook, eat or walk while streaming a video signal to each other.

  • Both of you decided for yourself that you want to be together no matter what – this is your common desire.
  • Both of you make an effort to maintain the relationship. You become a team, and the period of separation is a forced and temporary obstacle, nothing more.

But what if only one of you, for example, you know for sure that you want to be with him/her and are ready to wait for meetings, and he/she suddenly says that he/she is tired of everything? Yes, it hurts. But if a person was able to abandon you through the fault of kilometers, can we talk about genuine feelings? Can love be measured by convenience? This is the essence and incomprehensibility of this feeling – the heart is subject to what the mind cannot understand. Therefore, if he/she abandoned you, it is simply not your person. And there is no tragedy as such – life itself shows who should stay and who should leave.

However, the extra distance also makes the simplest things the sweetest, being able to hold the other person’s hand, eating together at the same table, feeling each other’s touch, taking a walk together, smelling each other’s hair… these small wishes could suddenly mean so much more in a long-distance relationship. 


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